Day Two & Three
Day Two & Three
Rohan is four years old; he likes to cook. Truthfully, he demands to be an active participant in all food shopping and preparation. Geoffrey does most of the cooking and he is successfully creative.
Tanya is East Indian. She and her mother have introduced Geoffrey to myriad Indian spices and other tantalizing ingredients, which Geoffrey uses liberally; he fuses cuisines with surprisingly “tasty” combinations–Mediterrenean with Indian, German with French, Vietnamese-Mexican, American-Greek, etc. As a result, Rohan is exposed to a wide variety of ingredients, including eggplant, cabbage, vinaigrette, tomatoes, black beans, onions, fish, lamb, curries, and all the popular herbs, basil, thyme, rosemary, parsley, mint—anything his parents eat, Rohan eats too, and with gusto.
Like some four-year olds would show off their toy car collection, Rohan opened the fridge to show me some exciting ingredients: ginger root, garlic, and a very special jar of chunky cherry jam. He lifted the lid of the rice cooker to show me how much basmati remained. His list of favorites includes olive oil, basmati rice, and different strengths of hot chili peppers.
For dinner one night Geoffrey & Rohan grilled Ahi tuna and served it with a lime, garlic, ginger and olive oil sauce. Rohan bounced around the table, checking the plates to be sure we all had enough ginger in our sauce.
“Oh yes! Yummy, yummy Daddy!”
The second morning I started a batch of our favorite buttermilk pancakes. Rohan heard me in the kitchen and ran down the stairs, put his apron on, grabbed his whisk and jumped right in.
After two days with Geoffrey and no indication of an imminent birth, Mike and I decided to rent a car and drive two hours south and west to stay with my daughter, Sarah Anne.—sort of like we planned. However, before we left Minneapolis, we went across town to watch Coco’s Saturday morning soccer game. At first Mike was not enthusiastic about an additional, maybe rushed event added to our schedule. What about his food? His nap? What if the soccer field is rough and hard to navigate? What if he falls?
I have to remember why Mike wanted to come on this journey in the first place. It’s really about no regrets. When one person in the family is suffering from a terminal illness, the entire family is affected in different ways. Add considerable physical distance to the equation and the result is lack of communication, lack of understanding.
With any long-term illness the most powerful support comes from the family of the patient. Caregivers who are separated or isolated from their families are at higher risk for illness themselves—then the whole ship could topple.
The best case scenario is when all parties are tuned-in as the disease progresses, present to observe what the symptoms look like and witness our response to the changes in our lives.
Even though Mike was anxious about another alteration to our plan, he reminded me once again, “In the end, it’s the things you don’t do that you regret.
“I’ll go to Coco’s game, but if it’s hard to walk, I may have to stay in the car.” Certainly a choice that Mike can make and it is not a game-changer.It wasn’t long before Mike was sitting comfortably in a folding chair, on the sidelines, cheering for Coco. He was clearly proud as he watched Sean coach the second-grade girl’s soccer team. Later that afternoon, on our trip down to Sarah’s, he said, “I wouldn’t have missed those moments on that field for anything.”